Can you read me?

I just said, “I am not sure if I can read you!” I wanted to say, “I wish I could. I wish I had the opportunity to get to know you better so I could read you. I wish I could scratch off the outer skin and see inside. I wish there was a way ...”, but I didn't say a word

The indirect ways in which people communicate with, is fascinating. I am amazed by amount of words conveyed with a simple gesture, a posture, a tweak in the corner of an eye, or even a minute body reflex. Body languages are more honest than words, we may learn not to reveal what we think in words, but we can't control the body and face in a similar manner to hide it. I guess that’s why we learn to be more sensitive to indirect communication channels from early age.

I learned very early to read people's body language more carefully and I have always considered myself good in that aspect, but I have a tragic limitation in reading men! I am unable to read mating signals! The word is the very right choice. I have difficulty understanding the intentions and the seriousness. I do pretty well in any other domain of interaction, from casual to professional to intimate friendship, yet, I am pretty crippled in comprehending meanings of body poses, facial expressions, eye contact as well as tone of voice with men in the context of relation. I had this dilemma as long as I remember. I am not sure what does it mean if the man walks you home, invites you over to dinner, tries to be playful, makes fun of you, complements you, asks too many question or does not ask any, looks at you or stares away as often as he can, keeps quiet or talks continuously, and all the possible scenarios. . By the time, I manage to read the man, either he has lost hope or has made up his mind that I am not as smart as I seem. I have just walked from one misunderstanding to another and yet I am unable to decipher men’s untold messages.

To add some spice to this tragic situation, I have come to Singapore, that is a vibrant multinational environment, and I have decided to expand my horizon and meet and date men from a different background. It did seem so exciting at the beginning but then I hit the same blocker. When the man sitting next to me is from a different culture, upbringing and language, then it is even tougher to comprehend what he means, and what he perceives.

We have become global and world has turned flat, yet, I don’t get it, why men don't simply say what is in their mind openly and boldly. What is the game play about? Weighting, asking, checking, testing, keeping the person on the hook and then being on the tip toes all the time about what is going on around you? When it comes to flirting, it is even worse. I do understand the concept, which is very playful and mind provoking concept, and I enjoy it immensely, but I don’t know the rules of the game. I end up not even knowing whether I won or lost, and either scenarios, how big or small!

No! I can’t read you! I wish I could and I wish I had the guts to tell you how much I wish I could, but here I am just thinking, there is no way I can read him …