Depression

Have you ever experienced depression? I wish not!
It is scary, you feel like nothing ... The whole world with everything in it becomes meaningless. You can't understand why you have to wake up, shower, go to office, smile, walk, talk, eat ... You can't seem to connect with anything... You look around your life and wonder what is going on, why have you been doing all those funny things that don't make sense now! You can't connect with your clothes, books, activities, friends, and sometimes family. You know it is wrong but you are still unable to feel anything and I mean any kind of feeling! I guess entire emotional brain shuts down.
Today, I found myself head in hands crying, for no reason. I thought there might be something bothering me but couldn't find anything I could associate with those tears. The other day I found myself staring at a point for an hour or so, just feeling nothing! I can only think of the word numbers in my senses. 
The worst part is that you never know when it will strike again, it's like a plague, you are having a normal time, perhaps, a little more hyper than usual which is strange but there is no harm in being active and energetic, and then suddenly you feel that low mood as if it is dark, absolute sheer black. Light, stimulation, love, affection are all taken away from you, you are void! It's like smoke, that will penetrate to all the corners, there is no way to stop it, or even better it is like a fog that will gradually spread out all around covering everything in a gloomy misty substance, nothing looks like it's real form! Imagine living in fog, you know what you see is not the actual real object but a silhouett,e but yet that is all you see. You try to scatter it away form front of your eye, you know your vision is distorted, you know there is something there, but you can't do anything about it.
Living with depression is a tragedy when no one understands you, when your friends are trying to find out what has bothered you, when they notice something is going on and your behavior is not normal and instead of seeing the shadow of depression spreading his wings over you head, they will tell you that you are inconsistent and unreliable.
Living with fear of next strike of depression is frightening no matter how strong you perceive you are.