Expectations

Sometimes strangers are blessing, no expectations, and no obligations. I have difficulty understanding friendship in which there are expectations. I cannot even enjoy a simple coffee with someone cause I will first be thinking of the expectations, what I am supposed to do, what am I suppose to say, how am I supposed to behave, how am I supposed to react?
I guess this is another way in which I am Asian, I have been brought up to value and care for other people; at points I simply overdo it and prioritize others over myself.
Imagine this simple scenario that a friend is sitting in front of me over a coffee table. Let’s assume it is a she. She will smile at me and will convey that she is happy being together but I am not, I mean am feeling alright having a company but I am not thrilled, or excited and simply I don't feel that great, I'm just alright. The fact that I cannot reciprocate her feelings, causes a heavy feeling in my heart, a burden that I am cruel and not sympathetic. She might not even expect a smile in return, I don’t know that, but I anyway feel the burden and it hurts, deep down. Similar to a guilt feeling, I start to feel a void and emptiness.
In reality I know that there is conflict inside my brain, the unconscious Asian character wants to be sympathetic and the conscious Personalized character wants to be sincere and genuine without false pretences, sometimes I simply give in and let auto-pilot take over and smile back but then I just hate myself and my inability to take control, other times, I actively stay on top of my feelings and don’t give in, but afterwards I ask myself, am I psychopath or sociopath or something alike?
Either ways, It takes effort to pull myself together and back to neutral feeling. I have stayed away from people for this reason for such a long long time. If only …