If you go, I will go
If you eat, I will eat
If you play, I will play
If you drink, I will drink
If you dance, I will dance
Do you feel the chain around your neck? No? I do!
This attitude will not create any obligation in a many people, but in me, it does, and I hate obligations. I hate being forced to eat just because another person's eating is linked to mine. I hate to try to be happy, just because another person's happiness is linked to mine and I hate to be cornered to live my life in a certain way such that another dependent person's life is not disturbed.
I decided not have a child, it was not by accident. The choice was out of a painful experience of responsibility to my younger siblings. I knew that a child will eat one up gradually and slowly like cancer, without one knowing. I hear your mumblings. Well, for some people who are able to balance sense of responsibility and obligation with their personal life priorities, I might be wrong, but for a great many eastern women, my theory can be proven applicable.
I skipped the kid but then I missed to skip children in my day to day life. I am talking about the grown up kids that just carry a body outgrown their mental and emotional capacity. I don't know Freud's theory of inner child, and I don't think that is really what I am stuck with. I am referring to people who miss to weight circumstances in a grown up manner consistent with their age and experiences. I am sure you have come across individuals who do not age, who do not learn from experiences, who do not know how to evaluate, respond or react like an adult. Kids, to me, are distinguished with their impulsive responses, uncontrollable emotions, over-sensitivity to trivial matters, unconscious selfishness, lack of foresight or long-term memory and inability to synthesize. These are the same characteristics I see in many child like adults, at least in South-east Asia where it is acceptable to perform and behave like a child as an adult.
Unfortunately, I have a tendency to find them and get them hooked up. There is nothing more disturbing than having a dependent child under the context of a friend around you. Firstly, you are lacking a close friend, because the one assumed to be a friend, ends up to be a burdensome kid. Secondly, these grown p children, are as sweet as their inner child persona, you have formed the emotional attachment before understanding the severity of the situation. Thirdly, if you come to the point that I have come to, feeling entangled and unable to move, the break up is a battle ground, that has no winner, if at all the battle ends ever. Imagine trying to separate a kid from his mother and telling him, she will be gone forever, I don't think it is possible. If you have a technique to do this, I am willing to know.
