a memoire

قد بلند وصورت کشیده همیشه راست میشست و گوشه لبش خنده ای بود که محو نمیشد حتی وقتی بدن نیم جان دختر ده سالش رو که سرطان مچاله کرده بود رو تو بغلش گرفته بود

نمیدونم بابا کجا پیداش کرده بود

بابا عاشق دوست پیدا کردن بود

اهل یه جایی بود به اسم دو هزار بالای کوه

خودش میگفت هر روز یک ساعت پیاده راه میرفته تا به مدرسه برسه

Determined

در دنیا هیچ بن بستی نیست
یا راهی خواهم یافت یا راهی خواهم ساخت

Commitments (4)

We get to know people, become interested, enjoy spending time with them, like their presence and fantasize their caring. We let the joy drive the relation deeper and deeper and forget that a relation has too many faces, only one is joy. Once the relation has dominated our lives, it can't hide its true nature and other faces show up; joy transforms into want and then into need; with the ugly face of "need" comes duty, obligation and commitments. Need spreads like a virus and infects the entire relationship; then it starts to consume up all the resources we have for love, affection, passion and happiness.
We know that we're into a sick relation but don't wanna give up; don't wanna lose it, don't wanna admit that we made a mistake; we let the sick relation survive in the most disastrous condition, but don't let it away...

Quote of the day

When the character of a man is not clear for you, look at his friends.
Japanese proverb

Commitments(3)

"To be me"
All I wanted was to be myself and not to be someone or something else
All I wanted was to decide for myself what is right or wrong and not to be forced into it
All I wanted was to be me

I escaped from that prosperous future & secure relation just to be me
Now, I can be myself
Now, I can be proud of myself or least easy with myself and not ashamed of it
Now, I can choose what to do, where to go, how to live

No judgments, No guidelines, No commitments

Just Ordinary

"I have become ordinary"
"I have become so miserably ordinary"
I don't remember when it happen; must have been when I was busy working, building a career or pursuing happiness
Last night for the first time I looked around myself in Swissotel Asia-bar and felt it right hanging over my head: "You are just a common fuck body"

Once upon a time I used to be quite special; special for my parents, friends, boys&girls in university and even colleagues; I even felt special with my dentist, psychiatrist, skin care doc, lecturer. They could distinctively tell me why they had this special feeling for me. Now, there is nothing outstanding that anybody can highlight to differentiates me with the rest of the world: "The magic is gone"
Have I lost it, did he steal it from me or he consumed it all up or maybe it has gone invisible? Doesn't really matter anymore, it's now the real world where I have to live like ordinary people with no powers

I had my time to use it and didn't, there may come a day that I am no more ordinary but unwanted, let's live the ordinary life to its full before it's too late

Commitments (1)

He is a businessman,
What you will see is a super business with that Elegance Mercedes and First class tickets …
He’s got a good looking, lovely, loyal wife and a highly educated, classy daughter, married to a prosperous man…
What else do you need to see? I guess nothing

Now, let me tell you what I see:
An old man, in his 60s that unfortunately thinks he is in early 30s

He is married to the most lovable creature in his world: his business
A long lasting, successful marriage although sex free but it is full of excitement, challenges and happy moments
He has been fully faithful and devoted to his wife
Nothing can distract his thoughts or change his feeling for his love

He also has a kid to take care of: his official wife
It happened completely accidental, it can happen when you are young
He fell in love with a girl and officially married her and ever since has been taking care of her like a spoiled child

Besides, he has a lover: his daughter
She is smart, good looking, educated and prosperous
They date (at home of course for family dinner) and when dating, she teaches him life lessons
She likes him like a lover, believes in him, follows him and cares for him but then calls him dad

Lastly, he has a bunch of pets: his mistresses
These female pets, happen to be young, attractive, charming and fatally sexy
The pets are all he needs, they love him as long as he feeds them then they’ll find another feeder and he’ll find a more interesting pet

Perfect life, I don't wan to be stuck in one...
who wants?